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LUCIFER / OBAMA SATIRE 2008

September 27, 2008

 

by… Michael Westfall

Christianity is the most essential religious conviction in America. Your system, history and civilization are all immersed with it. You will lose your character, morals and foundation without it. For my purposes, Biblical morality is innately outdated, intolerant and must be replaced with a religious conviction of “humanistic rights” for our new “godless America”…

Barack Obama, you are an unproven smooth talking, ultra-liberal idealist loved by Oprah and the liberal press. Even with your inexperience, they have both given you priceless name recognition. You are also my choice.

 

 

Dear Barack,

 

I am “Lucifer”, but you may call me “Satan”.

 

More then the Republicans, your Democratic Party has been on fire for me. It behooves me to deliver a personalized missive expressing my bottomless support and offer you a few overall observations prior to the “2008” Presidential Election.  I have molded my liberal political disciples from their early careers to be self-infatuated enough to consider themselves as the elite politically correct supporters of issues of “grave importance” to me… not the protectors of “America’s faith”.

 

As your delusional, lying, confusing sidewinder from the Garden of Eden, it gives me the quivering fits how many clever wing-nut Christian groups and conservative bloggers attack us.

 

Barack, your slippery speeches proclaim a new kind of politics, while still coming from the same old liberal Democratic Party headquarters. This may puzzle some, but it makes “yours truly” want to do the devil’s victory boogie.

 

You were raised in a household with ancestral roots including Islam, Baptist and atheism, so you grew up a skeptic… before getting religion. I don’t care about your history with the Saudi billionaire who was a mentor to the founding members of the Black Panthers, the radical Muslim activist that backed you when you applied to Harvard or even the radical ax-grinding teachings of fuming people such as Louis Farrakhan. I praise your 20-year connection to the divisive Afro-centric Church whose reverend, Jeremiah Wright, has said he hates America and blamed your government for the 9/11 attacks.

 

In America there are about 80 million evangelicals. Your caustic remarks in San Francisco about how America’s flag waving, hard working “small town folks “cling to their guns and religion” are indicative to my beliefs. Do not be concerned about how these small town folks say your religion resembles political opportunism. 

 

Obama, we will keep silent on your history about how you were only elected to the Senate four short years ago in November 2004. Mercy! You have spent the bulk of your Senate time running for president, just how much experience “don’t” you have?

 

Americans want change, but what works for me best would be a silver-tongued liberal celebrity president sitting in the oval office, who lacks the experience to handle the grave problems that your nation faces.

 

Your voting record is certainly a testament to my beliefs. You support Roe V. Wade, voted against banning partial-birth abortion and voted no on notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state abortions. You oppose Federal Protection of Traditional Marriage, which limits marriage to the union of one man to one woman. You support public schools teaching that homosexuality is a positive lifestyle. You have said that the gay rights movement is somewhat like the civil rights movement, as you proclaim your desire to unscramble gay rights from the word marriage.

 

Thank you also…for being against the second amendment, which guarantees the right to own and use handguns for self-defense.

 

I certainly agree with you in taxing the fire out of all Americans and then spending the monies to promote those issues I champion. These issues will disgust the very conservative taxpayers who will be forced to pay for them.

 

Today, America is facing the worst financial meltdown since 1929. The financial companies’ lobbyists have spent hundreds of millions of dollars for both political contributions and influence. America’s families are about to get an excruciating financial haircut to shelter Wall Streets elite.

Remember, I do endorse rich Wall Street manipulators, lobbyists and polished politicians with rush-to-judgment programs that both wrap socialism around your flag and also put the cost on the heads of your children.

 

Ignore that the Democrats were equals in creating this crisis and take every opportunity to lay this financial debacle exclusively at the feet of the Republicans before the election to garner as many votes as possible.

 

Around your world America is hated and targeted by terrorists. Your enemies genuinely want to destroy you and are working feverishly to obtain nuclear weapons. It is clear that one of your many glaring deficiencies, compared to John McCain, is your inexperience in foreign policy. If you had your way, America would have left Iraq in defeat, now, all parties are working on a lasting peace and a stable government. The jeopardy that America’s safety would be in with you as President… just makes me giddy!

 

Washington’s political elections are personality contests, and D.C. is already packed with enough celebrity politicians. With only the power of their egos, these smooth talkers falsely pretended their way in as bogus leaders. In reality they had inadequate credentials, diminutive wisdom, and almost zero essential experience. Glance around Washington… Can you deny it?

 

You have promised political change, but, unlike McCain’s pick with Sarah Palin, you picked ultra-liberal Washington insider Joe Bidden as your V.P. Who is bluffing whom,

my double-talking soul mate?  Biden has an infamous reputation as a bully who runs his mouth without engaging his brain, however, he does support us on the abortion issues and did vote against notifying parents of minors who get out-of-state abortions.

 

John McCain is dangerous because he is a proven, experienced straight talking realist who is despised by the liberal media. He has both the personality and record of an “unapologetic rebel” out to genuinely reform Washington. His appeal slices through party line and gives me the jitters. He fearlessly puts America above politics and would do bona fide harm to the anti-conservative family programs that we have jointly instituted.

 

You are products of your environment and McCain’s traditional upbringing was totally opposite from yours. Raised an Episcopalian, he is now a Southern Baptist. He says that being a Christian is the most important thing he is. McCain opposes abortion, believes marriage should be limited to a man and a woman and says he shares the values and goals of the rank and file of the Christian right. Supporting the reversal of Roe V. Wade, he voted yes on banning partial birth abortions, except for maternal life, and voted against transporting minors across state lines for abortions. He also voted to impeach our favorite Teflon coated President Clinton.

 

McCain believes in small government, fiscal discipline, low taxes, a strong defense and judges who enforce, but not make, your laws. This guy may be great for America; however, he is dangerous to our liberal plan.

 

Your “Old Scratch” is also worried over McCain’s vice presidential pick of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin who is only 3 years younger then you and is pro-life. She connected with millions of women when she proclaimed that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull was… lipstick.

 

Americans share her beliefs and are incensed by the attack on her by our liberal media pals, who have fiendishly attempted to dig up some dirt to discredit her. Some have even ridiculed her child who has Down’s syndrome. They have treated her like an unrefined middle class rebel lacking credentials.

 

I am attracted to self-indulgent political hypocrites who rule rather then govern, so these liberal journalists bring back memories of the grand old Clinton days. Clinton showed the world exactly what a liberal double-talking Democrat could actually pull off in the oval office. We must return to Clinton’s reprehensible ultra left-wing ideologies and use his Democratic legacy as the guiding light, so we can again defile the White House.

  

Slippery Willy’s premeditated deception was not disappointing to me in his taxpayer funded “ Cat House”… I mean White House… extra-marital, immoral indiscretions fiasco with young dim-witted intern Monica Lewinsky. I was tickled by how you Democrats rallied behind him at his impeachment trial of perjury, lying under oath, witness tampering and abuse of authority. Bravo to all Democrats of strong moral faith!

 

 It was America’s greatest moment when the entire universe saw “Willy” on the tube deceitfully and fearfully lamenting about his innocence one day, and then back on the same tube the next day with tears in his eyes groveling and begging for exoneration for staining the reputation of the Oval Office.

 

I was also ecstatic with Clinton’s 1992 “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that he promised to homosexuals, so they could openly serve in the military. George Washington, who approved of the first dishonorable military discharge of a homosexual in 1778, might not be proud of Clinton …but I certainly was.

 

Do you think it’s possible to somehow accuse one of your nation’s founding fathers, like George Washington, of hate speech and ban his history like we must ban the Bible?

 

Gleefully, Clinton’s policy translated into a lot of nice votes from gays, lesbians, transsexuals and bi-sexuals.

 

Like you, Bill Clinton was pro-abortion and immediately began reversing all of the Republican Reagan-Bush pro-life policies dealing with abortion and family planning. Taxpayer funded abortion was a large part of Hillary’s push for health care in 1993.By the way, I am not thrilled with how Hillary’s supporters proclaimed they would vote for McCain over you.

 

I realize that the much of your opposition comes from people of faith. Just remember we have proven ways of silencing churches that get in our way. There is no quicker way to bring these Christian voices to their knees then with the destructive power of taxation.

 

Democrat Lyndon Johnson’s  “Johnson Amendment” was the tax code amendment used to silence non-profit groups who were opposing Johnson’s re-election to the Senate in 1954.“Our Amendment” took away the churches constitutional right to free speech. It gave the IRS the right to monitor preacher’s sermons and tax their church out of existence if they didn’t comply.

 

Reflecting on Democratic icons, like the Clintons, brings back 2004 when Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry’s stand up celebrity poster boy was radical Michael Moore. Moore traveled around the world discrediting America by calling Americans dumb, stupid and embarrassing. He professed that those killing your soldiers in Iraq could be considered as equals to your own Revolutionary War heroes. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance celebrated Moore for his work in promoting the gay lifestyle, as he sucker punched Christian conservatives by featuring partying gays and lesbians crossing America in their pink Winnebago “Sodomobile”.

 

 

I must add that your liberal union official buddies, who have lost touch with their history and their memberships, heat up my pitchfork. For decades you politicians have joined with corporate powers in sacrificing and betraying millions of middle class manufacturing workers and retirees on the alter of corporate restructuring. You mutually allowed the evaporation of your once world envied premier industrial manufacturing sector.

 

Union bosses have always blamed exclusively the Republicans for labors ills and proclaimed Democrats as better for working Americans and retirees. This is preposterous! These top union officials were silent on how it was their pal, Democrat President Bill Clinton, who, being no friend to the American worker, sponsored the poorly written NAFTA plan, which evaporated middle-income blue collar manufacturing jobs like no other multi-national anti-worker corporate scheme ever devised. Your economy is now paying the price.

It is indisputable that defenseless retirees have been betrayed. American workers are now forced to compete with exploited foreign workers who are paid disgracefully low pay, almost non-existent benefits and treated with deplorable working conditions.

Don’t be afraid, the union bosses are now in our pockets, are our labor puppets fighting for our moral issues and are labeling these moral issues as labor issues. They are forcing our potent anti-family concepts, such as homosexual benefits, same sex marriage and abortion, onto the backs of their Judeo-Christian workforce. They then use their substantial influence to deliver their membership’s votes to the feet of my Democrats. You Democrats then work legislatively to institute these anti-family cultural changes.

 

I tip my sweatband to you!

 

Barack, in conclusion, you must think I am walking in circles and chatting in riddles. My disciples may rest in peace because there truthfully is a mystifying light at the end of the tunnel through which America is speeding. That light is my world. It is coming from the fiery depths of Hell.

 

Listen up!  To me the most important issues in America are the moral issues. I have never pretended to be desirable and vibrant. In fact, I am rather despicable and haughty, but powerful enough to implode your culture and dismantle your churches pew-by-pew…don’t you agree?

 

Oh yes, I must not forget! America’s greatness is about over. When my disturbing influence is the only supremacy, then what will be left for your nation’s families other than an eternity with … yours truly? Come on! …Didn’t you think about that?

 

One last minor detail, and what a revolting development it is for you! My disciples “could have” used their positions to promote Godly pursuits, but instead willingly came under my politically correct umbrella. Don’t be so diffident… it is their “earned reward”, you know!

 

Mercy! If you haven’t already figured it out, I am not “actually” here to preach the truth. I am the lying beast of deception and a master of confusion mystification and doubletalk. I don’t follow the Bible.

 

I am out to legislate away Biblical morality by empowering my disciples in their attack on America’s traditional family, culture and values. In addition to destroying your nation’s values, our mission is to intensify the death of America’s unborn through abortion, turn more of America’s children into culturally accepted practicing homosexuals and, finally, stuff every Christian into the same closet from which the homosexuals have emerged.

 

My stratagem is to put America on its knees at my altar. I am lining your nation up for my cruise to the eternal fire of damnation. You have never seen or tasted the kind of loathing  …I have for your nation!

 

I AM SATAN!

 

To all who acquire a blistering glimpse of this communiqué…

 

VOTE DEMOCRAT!

 

“LUCIFER / OBAMA SATIRE”

 


 


 

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